whenever, whenever
by shittyglassess
Summary: When I actually write something that is a definite oneshot, it will be here. Note: contains spoilers for the manga!


(manga spoilers)

_How did it become like this?_"You're all the same!" I yelled, yelled into the abyss of sand and stars. Tears streamed down my face but there was nobody there to brush them away and pull me close, tell me that it was going to be okay. Because it wasn't. This was the future for my people...? A split people, powered by a damning duty and poisoned by hatred. "WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING?! PLEASE, **STOP** **IT! ****STOP!**"

My body felt weak, the connection to the seven shifters the only thing holding me up, holding me together. I felt like at any minute I would become like the sand, my body falling away into nothingness, a non-existening thing. Ugly sounding sobs rose from my throat in vain of me trying to stop it, to hold myself together.

My heart felt so much pain, so much anger and anguish and it was coming from the seven people standing in the ring around me. I never believed in true heartbreak until now. It truly felt like it was going to crack and crumble away, pierced by the agony of my successors. Is this what I wanted? Is this what I want for them? My thoughts go briefly to my followers, the people who swore their everything to me. To the nine who would recieve my gifts. I could see their faces when I asked them to hold the power. They all agreed. Is this what's waiting for them?

I can feel eyes on me, from everywhere. Did they hear my cries? The weight of the gazes make it hard to raise my head, to face the faces of the future. The tears blurred my vision, but I could still make out the shapes of people. Oh God... There were so many, all lined up behind the seven. There were two other lines that stopped just before the ring, almost but not quite filling in the gaps. I cried out again like I was scalded, knees shaking. I furiously wiped the tears at my eyes and clamped my lips shut. No, no, no! This isn't-

A gnarled sound got caught in my throat. This isn't what I wanted! Behind the child there was a man with blonde hair that was cut a strange way. A freckled girl stood behind him and blocked the one before her. The blonde man was towered over by a teenager with pleading eyes. The girl with crystal tears frozen on her cheeks had a reflection of her standing vigilant. Her eyes resembled the teenager, resembled the boys and girls and men and women that stood behind the current shifters, all filled with a pain, pleading.

Not just their pain, but the pain of those before them. Their agony, my agony. It all linked back to me, for I am - was, will be - the beginning and the people in front of me are the end, the man who is lost, the woman who mourns, the child who has to face a new fate. A part of me wanted to crumble under their gaze. I could feel my body trembling. My heart was going to burst from my chest. Would I be free then? A sharp muffled screech sounded it in the silence. It happened again, and again.

They watched me. Silently begging? Wishing? Praying? Could they hear the screams echoing in the endless night like a sigil? I didn't realise until then that I had my hands clasped against my mouth. My throat was aching, my tears flowing down my cheeks. Black spots faded in and out, in and out. I uncovered my mouth and a scream ripped through the silence. The noise was coming from me?

I screamed again, crying out to the sky, drawing it out until my lungs burned. It was like I'd lost all control. I kept screaming and screaming, begging them to stop. Stop staring, stop fighting, just; "PLEASE, STOP!" I fell to my knees, my throat tearing itself up as I screeched and sobbed and begged and- silence. I had thrown my head up to face the heavens. My heart was so heavy, everything was so heavy.

My hands, which were cupped against my racing heart, dropped like stones onto my lap. The dark shadows going in out in out went out and stayed out. I sucked in harsh breaths and blinked away the moisture in my eyes. Trying not to wince in pain, I took deep breaths and lowered my eyes to the souls that I condemned.

They were tired. I was tired. I closed my eyes.

Hands gripping me, shaking me.

Familiar voices.

"Ymir, wake up!"

_Gloria. _

I awoke, clutching my damp bedsheets and gasping for breath. My throat was dry and my eyes were wet.

Gloria sighed in relief, her own cheeks streaked from shining droplets. Her raven hair was tousled and her eyes wide. I couldn't say a word, even as she reached down to embrace me. "It's okay," she shakily reassured me, "it was just a dream."

_No, no it wasn't. But I can't understand why._

xxx

(I didn't know how to end it so there's your typical 'it was all a dream')


End file.
